he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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