So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Who died my cat blue again?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
