She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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