Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
