she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Ladies don't puke and tell
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
