Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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