when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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