the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
50% drunk capacity currently
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
