apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
