Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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