SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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