Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
