Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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