My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
