I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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