You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize