the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
