Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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