do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
