mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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