it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
