hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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