so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
