"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
