His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
