Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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