That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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