meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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