A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
