Sry I called you an 8
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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