he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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