Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
