She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
