i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
