In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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