yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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