If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm getting married
To pizza
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
