just tell him i said nine months
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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