nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I touched a dick in church today
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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