Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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