i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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