This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
