she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
