i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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