we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
