Non-Jews are for practice
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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