So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
