Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
