whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
