i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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