just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
