Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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