I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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