I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So many bounce houses so little time
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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