I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
