you win again, gameday.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
