so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's