He asked to "fluff my boner.."
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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