Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."

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(720): Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open." http://tfl.nu/m5a9

Replies (26) Good night (5153) Bad night (533)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.

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(812): Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward. http://tfl.nu/8jbn

Replies (16) Good night (3477) Bad night (767)
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(207): View more from Maine

hows the new call of duty?

(1-207): View more from Maine

I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.

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(207): hows the new call of duty? (1-207): I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome. http://tfl.nu/zewm

Replies (78) Good night (5527) Bad night (955)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.

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(512): Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on. http://tfl.nu/m8nk

Replies (11) Good night (1092) Bad night (3487)
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(317): View more from Indiana

she was licking his armpits.

(317): View more from Indiana

asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.

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(317): she was licking his armpits. (317): asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story. http://tfl.nu/2ll0

Replies (24) Good night (1031) Bad night (4978)
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(509): View more from Washington

Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

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(509): Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that. http://tfl.nu/jsxj

Replies (10) Good night (5609) Bad night (1526)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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(586): I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life. http://tfl.nu/7ulw

Replies (15) Good night (852) Bad night (2784)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....

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(810): Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that..... http://tfl.nu/0b0j

Replies (3) Good night (1337) Bad night (769)
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(510): View more from California

she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong

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(510): she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong http://tfl.nu/3blf

Replies (10) Good night (4259) Bad night (813)
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(330): View more from Ohio

WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"

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(330): WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader" http://tfl.nu/kbtf

Replies (0) Good night (502) Bad night (307)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.

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(506): I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success. http://tfl.nu/n6ta

Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (181)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.

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(404): I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week. http://tfl.nu/2i12

Replies (6) Good night (460) Bad night (159)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!

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(615): By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know! (1-615): Who is this? Did we just become best friends?! http://tfl.nu/l3le

Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (174)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.

(1-319): View more from Iowa

And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.

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(319): Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth. (1-319): And in your bra. It was quite entertaining. http://tfl.nu/axvu

Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (130)
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(407): View more from Florida

How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?

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(407): How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night? http://tfl.nu/3g7c

Replies (8) Good night (402) Bad night (300)

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