Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle

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  (518): Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle http://tfl.nu/ebj2
  Replies (11) Good night (682) Bad night (1875)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

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  (636): Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date. http://tfl.nu/58hu
  Replies (19) Good night (1888) Bad night (1418)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.

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  (704): Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning. http://tfl.nu/47ow
  Replies (7) Good night (2694) Bad night (1121)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.

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  (219): I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window. http://tfl.nu/kuhj
  Replies (6) Good night (996) Bad night (2860)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers

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  (586): She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers http://tfl.nu/r5er
  Replies (18) Good night (1841) Bad night (6181)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company

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  (409): Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company http://tfl.nu/2763
  Replies (13) Good night (663) Bad night (2453)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.

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  (504): This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point. http://tfl.nu/a4gy
  Replies (5) Good night (878) Bad night (2745)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.

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  (484): walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad. http://tfl.nu/s89m
  Replies (8) Good night (3718) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.

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  (360): Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/hma8
  Replies (23) Good night (2723) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.

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  (443): you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend (703): You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence. http://tfl.nu/no32
  Replies (4) Good night (1625) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now

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  (604): I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now http://tfl.nu/aqb9
  Replies (11) Good night (1873) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF

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  (250): some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF http://tfl.nu/zk16
  Replies (6) Good night (2010) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

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  (647): You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics http://tfl.nu/qir9
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?

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  (215): One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew? http://tfl.nu/l1va
  Replies (1) Good night (1000) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking

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  (919): my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q3af
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (308)

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