Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.

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(716): View more from New York

i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis

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(805): View more from California

Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(775): View more from Nevada

she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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(517): View more from Michigan

My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX

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(404): View more from Georgia

You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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(443): View more from Maryland

I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.

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(716): View more from New York

Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house

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