I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house