Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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