she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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