Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
