last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
