physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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