When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
