You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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