Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
