i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I stole a fireplace last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
