i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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