ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
