I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize