that's an acceptable place to lick
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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