What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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