C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
